The dichotomy of competition - winning and losing

So you chose to read on, thank you. I write because it helps me get out what likes to swim around in my head.

Strongman is a hard sport in and of itself. It’s hard because of the unknown. It’s hard because it’s just plain heavy, awkward, and technical all in the same movement. It’s unknown with the equipment you will use. It’s unknown who you are up against. But my mind is more powerful than the unknown; a curse and a blessing depending on the situation.

I am a competitor and there’s no way around it. Being a competitor means wanting to win. It’s also about seeing your competitors want to win and succeed because you know they worked as hard as you did. I compete to have fun, compete to have the experience, but I ultimately compete to win and the more I have come to terms with that the better I have gotten and fine tuned how I show up at the contest; physically and mentally.

A week before yesterday‘s competition I was made aware that my middleweight class would be combining with the heavyweights. This has happened before and I didn’t think twice about it until I realized that the heavyweights would be using the same weights as me. I’m a lightweight. I chose to compete in the middleweight division so you can imagine how disadvantaged I felt competing against girls 40 to 60 pounds heavier than I am for a spot to Strongman Corp Nationals.

I decided to go in there with my best mindset ever, have a flawless performance and see where it led me. I was successful in that, there was nothing I could have or would have done differently to perform better than I did yesterday. However, due to the nature of heavier ladies pushing the same weight as I did, I missed out by a hair on qualifying, placing second. You can imagine, or at least if you know me well enough, that disappointment was real.

I have never walked away from a competition as proud of the way I performed as I did yesterday, then the reality of “it just wasn’t enough,” kept creeping in.

It will still take some time to come to terms with and some of you may think it’s not a big deal, but it is to me. It seems to be the theme in my life right now: to learn to accept the uncontrollable, the unknown, the “heres something you didn’t expect and yet another obstacle to jump over…good luck.”

So this is my lesson. Accept the disappointments in YOUR OWN TIME, use it as fuel and move forward IN YOUR OWN TIME.